I think...

I think a transport that trembles certain level like train, bus, tube or something like that makes me remember retrospect things.
In these days, I always think about her and her. I understand my feeling and also realize that no one can understand my feeling. It is all right because this is my life.
I can’t accept to rely on others yet but I know that human is such a creature that relies on each other. Actually I am the last man to rely on others. Conversely, I think I am such a man that be relied on others. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to accept it and rely on other person sincerely. But now, I can’t do that.
I need to be more strong and also more kind and open-mind.

Tomorrow, I will go to Halloween party tomorrow. I will disguise as Geisha girl, it must be gross!!!(haha Maybe it is the first time and last time as well to do that in my life. Must be good experience!!
Also this weekend, I will be 22 years old. I will go to dinner with my friends. It’s gonna be good.

Anyway, what I have to do is taking care of my condition...

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Finish!!

I finalized my assignment for tomorrow. Actually it was so tiring to do that because the subject is quite ambiguous.
I had to describe Japanese culture and value. Actually I am Japanese but I don’t know much about it. Throughout this essay, I thought that it is not so much related our nationality to our characters. Of course, somehow, it is related such as Japanese are shay or they are punctual or something like that. But, actually, it is a stereotype, isn’t it? Many of my Japanese friends, both in Japan and this country, are not so punctual. There are shay people, on the other hand, there are many talkative people. So, from this point, I sometimes suspicious about study like this such as sociology, anthropology or something like that. Of course, I don’t know what the subjects really are and my opinion is based on prejudice. I can’t stop being suspicious about those studies.
Anyway, I will submit my assignment tomorrow! I don’t mind the result and mark at all(haha

By the way, to my surprise, I say snow yesterday night although it is still in October!!! I think it is an abnormal weather because, if not, I think I’m not able to survive this winter. Today, however, it is so cold!! I can’t use heater in my room at all... Possibly, in winter, I have to put on many clothes to survive from terrible life and go back to my country. In addition, it is so dry, there is no humidity in these days, isn’t it. It brings bad effect on my throat. I really want to heal my throat but it is very difficult now. But I have to, because it is a vital thing to speak! Without speaking, I feel dull for everything.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Internship

Finally, I started my internship in JETRO yesterday.
I think it is better than I expected(haha
I thought that it is a bit boring coz one of my friends, he worked for JETRO as internship before I started, said that it is not so good.
Now I worked for agriculture section and I met many business men in these two days.
It is quite interesting because I am student.
In a position of student, normally it is difficult to know what is the business actually.
Now, however, I have a lot of chance to know it. It must be good effect on my career plan.

In this internship, I would like to meet many business men and women, learn know- how of researching, experience a business scene and know what is the business and system of economy.
I have a task to research about ice cube maker in this country. To be honest, I’m not sure about it at all. So maybe I have to ask it some of my British friends.

By the way, today, I have to finalize my assignment for “Communication between Cultures” class definitely. It is quite difficult because the subject is fundamentally abstract!!!!! Oops. It makes this assignment so difficult... Actually it is only 700 words to 1000 words. So it is not so difficult in paper. But, because of abstract subject, I can’t refer anything from reference book and write long sentence. I just use my guessology.

Anyway, I have to concentrate on this matter another two hours.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Farewell

I probably shouldn’t have said that but I had to say farewell.
It was tough decision but I had to choose being by myself. Now I forget the meaning and importance of loving others. I’m numb.
Some people said me that I’m really looked like a machine. It means that I’m not a human. On the other hands, some people said me that I’m really looked like a human. Both opinions, from my point of view, are meaningless because those don’t suggest my real character. To be honest, I don’t know what I want, think and hope now. I’m really inconsistent in these days. I feel contradiction and ambivalence. But, as it is, human is ambivalent equity actually. Therefore I don’t know but I have to confront this problem by myself and decided to make a bit distance from people who know me well and affirm me. Maybe ore not maybe, I get lost now, but I decided to be alone, be strong and be consistent. This is a kind of trip and adventure as well. I would like to make progress and after that I'd like to show myself to my friends.

May everything’s gonna change to good!!

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Bye Bye Masami.Y

Oops.
I took a rest almost 12 hours altogether today.
It’s OK because I had a bad cold, now my condition recovered somehow compared with that of yesterday.
I feel, however, I wasted time a bit.

This weekend, I have to finalize two assignments, one is “Communication between Cultures”’ assignment, the other is that of “English for Academic Purpose”.
Latter one is not so hard and crucial, so it is OK. Former one, however, it must be though... I have to read two references this afternoon before I start to cook my dinner.

By the way, I met my programme’s tutor Masami last night with my friend.
She leaves this country this evening, so it was the last time for me to meet her and have a drink with in this country. She was quite interesting actually.
She was very talkative, vigorous and powerful. In addition, what it more is she has a lot of connections to high prestige people such as a president of company or director, famous pianist and so on.
She will start her own business in Japan and Philippines. It is a kind of human resource company and totally big challenge for her. First year must be tough for her, but I think her vision and business concept is quite good. So I think it’s gonna be successful.

She has a talent for making connection with many people and showing herself immediately to other people. Those points are I have to study and learn.

Owing to her connection, I can get a chance to work in JETRO as internship. Therefore I feel I have to commit internship sincerely and do my best there. This internship is also chance for me to make a lot of connection with people whom I don’t know ever.

Anyway, this weekend, I take a rest to cure my cold and do my assignments.

Have a good weekend!

Yusuke

NABE

I did a Nabe party with my Japanese friends last night.
Nabe is a traditional Japanese dish and it is very delicious and healthy.
As you can see above picture, that is a typical form of Nabe.
We used Chinese cabbage, pork, carrot, long green onion, fu, udon, shiitake mushroom and so on...
It was so delicious and we enjoyed ourselves there.

Unfortunately I caught a cold in these days, especially today it worst...
I got a soar throat and headache as well. Owing to it, I was absent from morning class and took a rest in bed this morning. In addition, I thought that it became little a bit better that that of morning, therefore I went to university to attend a web class. But, because of it, my headache got worse...
Oops.
So I must start to sleep as early as I could.
But I have to wait two of my friends to ask them to write messages to our tutor, she’s going to go back Japan the day after tomorrow.

I and two of my friends will have a dinner with her tomorrow evening.
Possibly it will be the last time to meet her.
There is possibility to meet her on Japan and Philippines but I think it is quite difficult to meet her there.

Anyway, I have to recover my condition as possible as I could.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Shopping for an internship

I went to Piccadilly Circus today to buy a bag for my internship.
I decided to buy it as a birthday present yesterday night and went there today.
In Japanese proverb, it says “making decisions and taking action quickly”.
So I bought a bag today at “United Colors of Benetton” near Oxford Circus.

In a way of it, I went to Hamley because one of my friends asked me to check Harry Potters’ goods there.
So I went to there and took some pictures for him.
It’s a bit funny but it’s OK.

Anyway, I have a party with Japanese friends tonight.

See you soon.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

I miss Spain!!

I already miss Spain so much now although I came back from there just the day before yesterday!!
Oh, my goodness!!
What I can do now is just sighing...
This country makes me depressed actually.
Cold weather, not so good food, mean people...
Oops.
I don’t meant to blame British people, but I’m not in good mood in these two days.
What I have done since I came back from Spain is just watching Youtube and going to Sains to buy foods.
Maybe I should change something.

Last week, I would like to say “May everything’s gonna change to good for you!” to my ex-girlfriend and my good friend whom I like.
But, now, situation is changed.
I would like to say and hope the phrase I mentioned.

Anyway, I have four classes from tomorrow to Friday and I will start my internship next Monday.
It makes me feel better, I think.
Sometimes I become weak as like people are.
Maybe I miss my dear but I lost it.
I shouldn’t mention this but sometimes I think about it.

Now I’m looking forward to new relationship but a girl whom I like is also not in good situation. In addition, I’m not sure I like her or not.
Maybe it needs time to break.

So I hope, may everything’s gonna change to good for me!!

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Bloody Rainy Spain

Hi mates!
How are you doing? How was your weekend??
Maybe as you know, I went to Barcelona, Spain last weekend.
It was so good although almost all days were bloody rainy!
City is quite interesting, girls are beautiful, foods are delicious and people are so friendly!!
To be honest, I really didn’t want come back this country...
Maybe I should have decided to study not English but Spanish(haha
I went to Sagrada Famillia, Casa Mila, Casa Batllo and Parc Giiel.
Those were quite impressive and sophisticated.

I met some of my Spanish friends there.
We talked, chat and enjoyed ourselves there.
I can’t stop but appreciate to their kindness although they were so tired because of their job.
I really want to go there again, especially summer, and meet them and enjoy Barcelona!!

Anyway, this country is terribly cold and dark, but I have to concentrate on my life in here.

Have a good week!

Yusuke

Like a music.

It has become typical London weather more and more since yesterday.
Actually today it changed cloudy to rainy to cloudy to rainy!!
It is depressing. In other words, because of it, however, I can enjoy myself in Spain more. I will meet beautiful girls, delicious foods, good friends and the sun!
Oou.
It sounds quite nice. What I have to do now is to finalize our trip plan.

By the way, today I attend “Communication between Cultures” first. To my surprise, all of my class mates are girls! So in class room, without me and the teacher, they are only female! It’s OK for me, but, to be honest, I feel awkward little a bit(haha
My class mates were quite kind compared with native people because of I think all of them are international students. Anyway I have to improve my English further to enjoy conversation with them.

It is another story but, to my surprise again, in placement test for “English for Academic Purpose” class, all most all students wrote their script quite long. Those were may be double or triple that of mine. Therefore I really felt that I have to brush up my writing skill in English. I had to write my opinion to the idea “Young people have to work at least 2 years before they enter university”. I just wrote about 15 lines on a paper. But many of students looked like wrote over 30 or 40 lines.
Oops.
It was amazing for me!

It’s also another story but, I had an interview with my tutor and coordinator for practice for internship. For me, it is not necessary at all now but I did it for experience.
After the interview, they gave me a feed back that said I have to speak English like music. Actually I can understand it. I can speak English little bit quickly so now it is high time to try to manage my speaking speed and volume. Now I think I manage to improve my English such a way for another 6 months.

Anyway, have a good night!

Yusuke

Whatever may happen

Whatever will be, will be.

Today I passed an interview with JETRO for my internship.
So now, I feel relief actually(haha
I will do internship from 2 weeks later 2 or 3 times a week.
It must be good experience.
It is what I really really wanted to do so I must be involved it.
JETRO stands for Japan External Trade Organization and the department that I will work for is agriculture section.
I will do some researches and organise some events, I’m really looking forward to starting it.

By the way, I broke up with my girlfriend just before going to go outside for the interview.
For me, fortunately or unfortunately, it is not big problem.
I hope she don’t mind her choice.
I sincerely hope so.

Whatever will be, will be.

Anyway, have a good night!

Have a good day!

I met mayor!

I met London mayor, Boris Johnson on volunteer work on British Museum yesterday!
I hard his speech, it was fun actually.
Some of my friends managed to shake hands and take pictures with him.
I envy them...oou...
To be honest, I don’t envy them so much(haha
Boris said he hasn’t been to Japan yet.
But he knows a lot about Japanese movie.
Especially he talked about ”Gozira”, it is the one of famous Japanese films.
He was quite nice.
I met some new acquaintances there and got cool T-shirts.
Those are my crop on this volunteer work.

Today, I have an interview in JETRO.
I’m not nervous at all, just wondering what kind of question I will be asked.
Maybe it’s all right.
I hope I will be able to work there 2 times a week from next week.
Today, I also have a class in the evening.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

3rd week of October

It seems like little a bit cloud today.
Just before, it was fine but now it changes.
So I think fine days in October will finish sooner or later.

Anyway, new week starts.
This week I have many things to do.
Today, I will do volunteer work on British Museum, finally I received an email form the person in charge.
Maybe I will do some assistance and interpreter.
Tomorrow, I will do interview in JETRO for my internship.
It may be OK.
After that I have an evening class for “Creating a Website” class tomorrow coz I can’t attend that class on Thursday.
On Wednesday, I have a class in the morning, and have an interview with Mock on Marylebone Campus from 12:30-13:00.
In addition, after that, I have a placement test for “English for Academic Purpose” class.
It must be crazy(haha

However, on Thursday, I’m going to go Spain with my friend after attending “Art & Society” class.
It must be fun.

By the way, I got muscular pain in my neck, leg, and ass due to yesterday’s exercise.
Oops.
I feel I got old...

Anyway, have a good week!

Yusuke

Picnic on Shorditch Park

So I went to Shoreditch Park with 4 of my friends.
We brought there “karacage”, “onigiri”, “dashimaki” and so on, those are Japanese foods.
We talked and laughed, played cards, badminton and also played a Japanese traditional game “Stumbling Dharma”.
It was so fine.
Actually it was like summer.
I remembered the days I went to boat trip with my friends.
It was the one of the highlights in life of this country for me.
I think maybe I got a suntan little a bit although it is middle of October!!(haha
I appreciate my friend, she organised this picnic.

By the way, I did messenger with my best friend in Japan after I came back from the picnic.
It was also so fun.
I spilled out my feeling in these days.
Also he confessed me some secret about recent days.
We are best friends actually.

After writing this diary, I will go to my friend’s room to detail our trip for Spain and Morocco.
It must be great!

Last week, life was hard for me.
But it is changed a bit now.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

It lasts!

It looks like the fine weather still lasts now.
It will be good day for going picnic I think and it is good for a change.
I and one of my friends will make “Karaage”, it is a traditional food in Japan.
We will use chicken.
To be honest, it is not a type of food that we cook it by myself.
So it is a good chance to cook it today.

Today I received emails from my parents.
I sent a monthly report to them yesterday and they replied it.
Sometimes their reply is funny.
One day, my father sent me an email that said I have to be on the alert in European country when I travel there and sometimes I have to stake my life.
It’s quite funny(haha
I know he really takes care of me but it was a kind of overprotection.

Anyway, I appreciate them.

So, have a good day!

Yusuke

Drop by drop fills the tub

I try to remember my motto now.
I’m the last person to finish homework or something like that one night before deadline.
I mean I’m a man needs to study or work step by step, day by day.
I don’t have special gift.
So if I’d like to success in something, I have to made mistakes many times.
From a lot of mistakes, I can learn something.

Today I went to library on Marylebone campus.
The library was so silent. It is good place for study.
Possibly I will go there frequently coz it is comfortable to study.
What is the problem is computer that is in library.
Those are little a bit old so I can’t watch some video in Youtube or yahoo news.
In other words, there is no obstacle for me to study(haha

By the way, finally I could contact with m Spanish friend today.
She works for law office, so I think she must be busy in these days.
But she is absolutely so nice and kind person that she will guide me around Barcelona and provides a place to stay.
I can’t stop appreciating her.
I’m really really looking forward to going there with my friend and meeting my Spanish friends.
I also expect delicious Spanish foods(haha

I will go picnic tomorrow.
So I hope the fine weather lasts for one more day!

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Full Fool

I ate my dinner too much...
Ooooops
I ate Japanese traditional rice food.
I learned the recipe of it 2 days before from my Japanese friend.
She is from Oita, which is in South Japan.

The dish she cooked was perfect, but mine was little a bit thick...
Anyway it was delicious and I ate too much.
I need to take a rest now.

Oops.

Yusuke

Sunny days

It has been quite weather nice for these 3 or 4 days.
I can’t believe it!
This is London, isn’t it?
I hope it lasts tomorrow coz we will go to picnic tomorrow.

In these days, I can’t control my mind.
My emotion sometimes beats my rationality actually.
Then it makes me mad.
I can’t stop but get angry for my surroundings.
I don’t know the reason why.

Actually, “No”.

I know the reason why.
But I think I shouldn’t say this.
It is meaningless to say.
I’m good at bottling my mind up.

But one of my friends sent me a kind mail.
I really really appreciate her.

I remember the proverb “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.

Today I’m going to go uni’s library to study.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

Poetry

What is the thing I should work for?
I don’t know.
You don’t know.
No one knows that.

It’s maybe family, friends...or myself.
Answer is not clear.
If I can’t find it, what gonna happen?
No one knows that.

Who knows whether I will succeed in work or not?
Me? No!
You? No!
No one knows that.

But, I hope.
Someday, I make someone happy by my work.
Who can disturb it?
No one can do it.

I sincerely hope it.
No one can destroy it.

Yusuke

National Poetry Day

I heard from my friend that it was the National Poetry Day yesterday.
We went to Vietnamese restaurant and saw the broken traffic light on the picture above.
Now I try to think about poetry in English but it is soooo difficult.
I think even if in Japanese, it is difficult.
But I will think over it and upload it on my Japanese blog not this blog.
Because it is little a bit shame, I’m coward (haha
Theme is “work”.
So, first of all, I have to define the meaning of work for me.
Then I will do that.

By the way, I’m going to go uni today to meet my coordinator to amend my class table.
It is the last day to amend a time table, so I think the office must be busy.
But I have to go.
Maybe I will change business one to English one.
I like easy class(haha
To be honest, considering my character, difficult class is not so good for me.
I also think that the content that I can learn from the class is same as a class that I can take in Japan, I can learn by Japanese.

Anyway, I’m going.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

It's just for fun. It's important.

I went to uni today.
It was so fine day to go outside.
I went to St. Paul Cathedral in “Art & Society” class.
It was 2nd time for me to go there.
Actually it was so good because the weather was so fine.
If not, it was so bad. But, fortunately, it was fine.

It is not stressful class actually.
I like it.

Today, I also attend “Creating Website” class.
It was also very good for me.
Because, at first it is very practical, second I don’t have to feel inferior complex for native people(haha
The teacher was also so good...I mean he is very interesting!

Therefore, Thursday is good class day for me.

Have a good night!

Yusuke

Even if it offers me to take everything

2 days after I made words with my girl friend makes me calm down actually.
I have thought over my feeling and now I think I have to reveal my feeling instead of standing.

Today I will go to Victoria, Wigram House, to meet my friends and also eat a feast(haha
I bring a burdock there and my friend will cook special rice dish by using that one.
I’m really really looking forward to it.

Before I go there, I will go to Oxford Circus to do something I should do.
I will go to M＆S, IEO, programme office and library.

I hope this fine weather lasts all day long.
Yesterday it was misery, to be honest, it made me so depressed.

By the way, I bought a card for my tutor near Tottenham Court.
She leaves London end of this month.
I don’t know giving a card for her is good gift or not.
But I will do it.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

For a change

I cut my hair.
I take a different tea as usual.
I listen to a different music as usual.
I need break to calm down and think about now.

Yesterday I went to uni to attend the first class for me.
The content is not so difficult.
What is the problem is English(haha
I know for me English is always problem.

In this class, almost all of my class mates are natives (British and American).
So conversation is so quick.
I could understand what they talked only about 60% and guessed another 40%.

So I think I have to study English much harder.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

My luck must be in.

I would like to say but I can’t.
There are some reasons why.
One of these is that I made words with my girl friend.
Actually I got lost. I mean I couldn’t define my feeling for her.

Considering my future, I am not sure I am good for her or not.
And, if so, I think it is meaningless to continue our relationships.
Maybe situation will be changed in the future but this moment I can’t believe it.

So this is depressing for me and hurting for her.
I think I still like her but I am not sure.
I am not sure especially about my future.

I get lost.

What I need now is holiday.
Blue sky holiday.

Yusuke

Yeah, I like. I dislike.

Some time I scarce and maybe I shouldn’t say that.
I think about my relationships with my friends especially girls.

I have a girl friend.
On the other hand, I have many girl friends, I mean just as a friend.
For me, it is easier to make female friend than to male friend.
I don’t know the reason why, but as it is.
And sometimes I have a good relationship with someone compared with others.

I don’t care if someone said a rumour.
But, maybe someone is hurt because of it.

Some time I scarce about it.
It felt wrong.
It felt right.

Life is too short to care someone’s rumour.
I know that.

But I should pray.

Anyway, in these days, I have too much free time.
From next week, I must be busy.
So I think I will not afford to be worried such a things.
It is good for me.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

It's you. You're the one.

“It’s you. You’re the one. You always have been and you always will be.”
Sometimes people need this kind of words.
So sometimes I’m little a bit confused.
Of course, I can sympathise.

“I can die this moment because I am so happy.”
Sometimes people say this kind of words.
So sometimes I’m little a bit embarrassed.
Of course, I know what they mean.

But I can’t like such a kind of words and feeling.
I don’t know the reason why.
But, actually, I don’t.

You say it.
I say that.

Own opinions are different.
Because of it, this world must be fun.

Have a good day!

Yusuke

Module

Finally, I decided my modules in university.
I take,

*Interpersonal skills for business
*Art and Society
*Communication between Cultures
*Creating to Web site

I am going to uni at Monday, Thursday and Friday and I will do internship in Tuesday and Wednesday.

Anyway I would like to enjoy my module class.

By the way, I cooked curry.
It is awesome!
I used potato, tomato, onion, mushroom, eggplant, carrot, prawn, coffee, curry roux and curry powder that mu friend gave me.

Therefore I really enjoyed my dinner this evening.

I’m a bit tired coz yesterday I had a party for my friend and stay up until 3 o’clock.
So maybe, after writing this diary, I am going to bed.

Good night!

Yusuke